The reality of financial expectations when you live abroad.
Certain things change when you live abroad. In fact, suddenly, you naturally become the unofficial helper back home. Requests start pouring in. Some are indeed genuine, while others come from the belief that you have money because you earn in foreign currency.
After a while, you notice the same patterns repeating so often that it almost becomes frequent. If you’ve been abroad long enough, you already know these money requests. In this article, we get into those money requests and how you can deal with them.
The cultural expectations around financial support.
In many African, Asian, and Latin American societies, financial responsibility is shared across the wider family. When you start earning well, your income is seen as something that should benefit not just you, but also those around you. So financial success comes with deep-seated expectations in these regions.
In many families and communities, moving abroad automatically comes with added financial responsibility. The assumption is that you’re now in a better position to give financial support.
While that may be true, the difficulty is that these expectations often go beyond occasional requests. Even when you’re struggling financially yourself, there can still be pressure to help because saying no may be seen as pride, selfishness, or forgetting where you came from.
Common money requests.
When you live abroad, you can tell when you’re about to get a money request. A simple “hello” can turn into a request without much buildup. After a while, you stop being surprised and likely get used to them.
Here are a few you probably may know about:
1. The “send me something small” request.
You’ve probably gotten this message before. Someone reaches out and asks you to “help with something small.” However, your definition of something small seems quite different from theirs. Once you ask for details, then the “small thing” usually turns into a sum that stretches far from what you expected.
2. Emergency money requests from family.
When there’s an emergency back home, they always count on you to help. And these money requests often come without warning. Unlike other requests, this one carries urgency and also has emotional weight to it. You’re not just being asked for money; you’re being pulled into a situation, and saying no or delaying will definitely feel difficult.
3. School fees, rent, and big life obligations.
Once you live abroad, you quickly become the go-to person for major financial responsibilities. School fees for children, rent, tuition, and other major financial obligations become your responsibilities. Even when you are just managing your own expenses, these responsibilities are sometimes automatically transferred to you.
4. The “Help me start this business,” requests
You’ve probably heard business ideas that sound promising in theory from your friends and loved ones. However, there’s a catch: you’re the one to provide the capital, and not as a loan but as a personal grant. The expectation is usually simple: you provide the start, and things will grow from there.
5. Wedding, burial, and ceremony contributions.
Wedding, burial, and ceremony contributions are some of the most common financial requests you’ll receive. When someone back home sends you an invite or message about a wedding, burial, or family ceremony, it usually comes with an automatic request for support.
You’re expected to show up financially even from a distance, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You may not be there physically, but your contribution is seen as your presence and has to meet expectations.
Handling money requests without breaking relationships.
Frequent money requests put you in a difficult position. You want to support your loved ones back home, but also need to protect your own financial stability and manage expectations without damaging relationships.
You may notice that once you start helping consistently, the requests may become more frequent or larger over time. That’s why you should learn how to handle black taxes, as only then can you stay supportive without putting yourself under constant pressure.
Meeting constant financial expectations from home needs the right balance. These requests are unlikely to stop, so it helps to set up a system. That could mean planning how and when you send support and using a reliable platform that allows you to send and handle transfers with no hidden charges and good rates.
With CadRemit, you can certainly do this. In the end, what’s important is managing money requests in a way that allows you to support your loved ones without losing control of your own financial stability.
